PCT Day 23: Be Who You Need
First off, it is TACO THURSDAY – A day to taco about whatever I want. Freestyle mode.
Tokay was my first day back out of trail full time. It was gorgeous in all ways. It was slow and quiet. Isolating but in the best way.
I talked to the trees, enjoyed my own company, and listened to my body. I am the kind of person who will resist resting because of fear of what could happen if I’m not constantly keeping up. Today I fought that urge to push through like I always do, and stopped for breaks whenever I felt like. Which if you know me…. You know it took a lot in me to overcome that thought process.
“Once you learn the lesson, the universe will stop showing it to you.”
Speaking of overcoming lessons, I wanted to bring up the fact that I recently was accepted to be an author on The Trek. It is a popular online media platform that focuses on long distance hiking and backpacking. I filled out everything honestly and genuinely, and attached my blog, and the director personally emailed me to say that he loved my responses and the rest is history. Except I haven’t written anything for it yet. And I don’t know why…
The lesson here that I think I am supposed to move through, is making sure that I am putting my work out there regardless of my perspective on its quality. I am a tried and true perfectionist, and this has robbed me of countless opportunities to further myself in many areas. Mostly because the belief that if the circumstances and the work is not perfect to a tee, then it must not be shown to the world.
I feel this giant pressure to put out the best damn entry I’ve ever written for The Trek, and it’s causing me not to act. It’s FRUSTRATING. I want to see my progression for writing and start building the community I’ve always wanted to have, yet I can’t because I’m not opening myself through vulnerability.
With all that being said, I want to challenge myself to post on The Trek by the end of this week. I have till Sunday (3 days) to come up with an idea, and actually work on the entry, and post it.
“Who would you be if you were not afraid?“
I’m still figuring that one out. But being on trail in this way, has already helped me overcome so many fears that has resided in me. Even today, I have grown so much. And I look forward to seeing what else my mind and body are capable of.
I also want to end off saying how much I love my family and friends. Your support and accountability is what’s keeping me going towards the person I have always wanted to be. The push to stick to my word has been high and I will be eternally thankful and grateful for those who take time out their days to listen and check on me.
So that’s all for today’s entry. I’ll be writing for Philosophical Phriday in the next entry tomorrow 5/23. Thank you so much for reading. Much love to you.
-Belle
